My First Two Magic Mushroom Journeys – Steve Pavlina

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On the finish of our Denver journey for the Psychedelic Science 2023 convention (see my earlier full convention evaluate if that pursuits you), I performed a recreation at one of many afterparties and gained a magic mushroom (proven beneath). It weighed about 3 grams. Magic mushrooms have been decriminalized in Colorado final yr, together with for private use and gifting however not for promoting.

Shroom

Saturday Night time

The afterparty solely went until 1am, and it wasn’t the best setting for a deep mushroom journey. I thought of my intention for this little man and determined that for my first expertise, I simply wished to energetically shake palms with the mushroom house and never do something too deep.

I’ve had psilocybin earlier than throughout a journey final November with a gaggle of pals, however it was within the type of sweets blended with ayahuasca, and we took a pair different substances as effectively for a layered impact, run by an skilled facilitator. So up thus far I hadn’t consumed magic mushrooms individually. I do know I’ll have extra alternatives to discover mushrooms, so I wished to lean into it gently – not like my first psychedelic expertise of doing ayahuasca ceremonies for 4 back-to-back nights in Costa Rica in 2019.

We solely had two extra nights in Denver earlier than returning to Vegas, so I wished to eat about half of the dried shroom one evening and half the second evening, as a approach of leaning into it. I wished to have a constructive expertise even when it might be pretty gentle given the low dosage. I had executed my homework first, so I had a comparatively good sense of what vary of results to count on, or so I believed.

I made a decision to eat a couple of quarter of it first, roughly 0.75g, see if I observed something after an hour, after which have extra if all appeared good, whereas nonetheless on the afterparty. I used to be shocked that it tasted good, nearly like popcorn however with the feel of a dry cracker. I’d heard that some individuals didn’t just like the style of magic mushrooms, however which will rely on the range. This one was nice sufficient that my style buds would have had no complaints about consuming extra of them.

Throughout that first hour I solely observed some gentle giddiness, nothing particular. So I ate one other 0.75g. These weights are primarily guesses, however after consuming the primary piece, we discovered a scale on the afterparty, and I used to be capable of weigh the rest, which helped me estimate that the entire shroom will need to have been about 3g whole.

In case you’re questioning, I did invite Rachelle to share it with me, however she handed. It wouldn’t have been an issue to acquire loads extra shrooms at this get together since there was a jar on a desk stuffed with dried shrooms in addition to magic mushroom sweets (together with some labeled vegan), which appeared to be free for the taking. Enjoying the sport with the mushroom prize wasn’t actually mandatory – I simply did it for enjoyable. If I wished a extra intense expertise by consuming extra shrooms, that may have been simply attained. Nevertheless, I felt that splitting these 3g throughout two nights could be simply good for the type of intro to mushroom house that I used to be in search of, particularly whereas touring.

Shortly after I ate the second mushroom piece, we walked again to our resort, which took about half-hour. I nonetheless didn’t discover a really robust impact aside from feeling a bit happier. Rachelle mentioned she may see a distinction when she seemed into my eyes although. I discovered it amusing when she stored watching me to test. I had no hassle with stability or coordination whereas strolling again.

We arrived on the resort with out incident, and now it was shut to 2 hours since I ate the primary piece. I may really feel there was the potential to have a deeper expertise however that I’d have to fulfill it midway. So I lied down on the sofa, placed on some music with my headphones, closed my eyes, and went right into a meditative house to see what I may expertise internally.

That was pleasant all all through. I loved some beautiful psychedelic visuals and sensations, not tremendous intense however nonetheless stunning. They have been much like the ayahuasca visuals however gentler, extra electrical trying, and extra peaceable. I felt this light female power speaking with me in waves, with rising depth adopted by intervals of decrease depth, every cycle lasting a couple of minutes.

I felt just like the mushroom power was mapping out learn how to talk and join with me inside my thoughts. There was a consciousness to it, which grew a bit stronger as we synched up. I discovered it very simple to chill out and give up to the circulation of the expertise.

It peaked round 1:30 AM, about three hours after I ate the primary piece, and I finally went to mattress at 3:15. I slept rather well and had some good visuals extending into my goals too.

I obtained what I wished from this primary expertise – a delicate greeting and a gentle however attention-grabbing inside journey. I might have appreciated a bit extra depth, however this was a very nice, low-risk newbie expertise.

Sunday Night time

The following evening we didn’t have any events to attend, so I opted to have the second expertise within the resort room throughout. We had a set, so Rachelle may go to mattress if she wished with out my retaining her up. I additionally began earlier this time (round 9pm).

I made a decision to do one thing totally different this time and opted to make mushroom tea, utilizing the remaining 1.5g of dried mushroom. I do know that consuming it this manner is meant to have a sooner onset and be a bit extra intense. I didn’t know the way way more intense although, and 1.5g remains to be a comparatively modest quantity.

I used my fingers to crumble the mushroom into small items in a cup. Then I used the resort espresso maker to make some scorching water. For additional taste, I added a chamomile teabag (no caffeine). I didn’t have any lemon, so I couldn’t use the Lemon Tek technique. The excessive acidity of lemon (or lime) juice breaks psilocybin into the psychoactive psilocin sooner than abdomen acid, which makes for a extra intense journey.

I let the shroom tea steep for quarter-hour whereas journaling about my intentions for the expertise. This time I wished to go deeper and concentrate on some questions. After clarifying my intentions, I drank the tea, together with swallowing the entire little mushroom bits. I figured that with only one.5g, I would as effectively squeeze as a lot out of it as doable. Our flight dwelling wasn’t until the afternoon the subsequent day, so I had loads of time.

I lied down on the sofa with my headphones, listening to some stress-free music. I began with native flutes, and I quickly realized I didn’t like those that had sure nature appears like crickets or birds. For some causes these sounds felt too creepy to me. I flipped over to a calming spa music playlist, which felt like a great vibe to start with.

After the primary quarter-hour, I observed some gentle tingling in my arms, they usually felt a bit lighter, however the sensation was fairly gentle. In the course of the subsequent quarter-hour, nevertheless, the depth ramped up quick. I sat up, and it seemed the ground was rolling in waves. I wasn’t feeling good in my physique in any respect. It felt like being deeply dizzy however with out the spinning sensation, like my power matrix was destabilizing and being pulled in chaotic instructions. Is there similar to factor as spirit-level dizziness? That’s type of the way it felt.

The depth of these sensations continued to climb throughout the subsequent couple of minutes, from mildly nauseating to that “Oh I’m positively going to throw up” feeling. Even whereas I’m typing this now, I really feel like my physique is relieving these sensations at decrease depth.

I obtained off the sofa opened the bed room door, saying to Rachelle one thing like, “I’m in all probability going to be throwing up within the toilet now, however don’t fear. I’ll be okay.” – partly to reassure myself as effectively. Internally I used to be additionally questioning how lengthy these disagreeable sensations would final. I wasn’t trying ahead to hours extra of this.

As I flung myself to the lavatory ground in entrance of the bathroom, I felt tremendous nauseous but additionally confused. I sensed one thing wished to return out, however it additionally felt omnidirectional, like I wanted to throw up in all spherical instructions without delay, whereas my physique was making an attempt to translate that to imply up, down, or each. On the convention I had only recently discovered the time period “double platinum” and hoped I wasn’t about to have that have.

Then in a extremely fast shift, I all of a sudden sensed that this confused swirling of power had decided and that it was positively happening, not up. I shifted onto the bathroom seat and purged rapidly, questioning if I’d quickly need to flip again round. However no. That feeling of disorientation and nausea abated even sooner than the onset. Inside a couple of minutes, I not felt nauseous and was really feeling fairly good, nearly euphoric. I nearly couldn’t imagine how rapidly the nausea left me.

The pace of those shifts shocked me, however I used to be glad to be feeling higher bodily. This was nonetheless effectively inside the first hour, so I knew there was loads extra to expertise.

I requested Rachelle to sit down with me on the sofa for some time. I nonetheless felt a bit disoriented and wished her power there with me, figuring she’d be a comforting presence. I sensed that if I attempted to lie down and take heed to music once more, I’d really feel too nauseous, so I wished to remain upright for some time.

She was glad to sit down with me, which led to a really attention-grabbing expertise. We sat carefully on the sofa subsequent to one another, arm in arm. Once I had my eyes open, the carpet nonetheless seemed a bit wavy, and I started noticing a facial sample. It wasn’t actually a face – the carpet was very splotchy trying – however I famous that my thoughts was pattern-matching totally different components to eyes, a nostril, a mouth, and many others. Thankfully that wasn’t too disorienting. I had the thought that my mind’s pattern-matching circuitry was turning into extra versatile.

Once I closed my eyes, I noticed stunning, electrical, colourful, animated visuals – about 3x brighter and extra intense than the evening earlier than. I most popular retaining my eyes closed because it was extra fascinating to look at the visuals than to take a look at the marginally wobbling resort room.

Probably the most fascinating a part of this expertise was what I felt internally whereas in touch with Rachelle. I had figured she would possibly assist to maintain me feeling bodily grounded, however it was nearly the alternative of that. Whereas we have been touching, the feeling of touching and the sense of getting a physique light away. I may nonetheless entry the connection to my physique however solely whereas specializing in it straight and solely with sufficient depth to remind me that my physique was nonetheless current on the sofa. It’s much like sensations I’ve had throughout deep meditation, the place my physique is so relaxed that I lose the bodily sensations of getting a physique. however I can nonetheless attain again and wiggle a finger if I wish to reconnect with it.

As with the deep meditation expertise, I felt very secure. My focus shifted to a sensation of being a purer type of power. As a substitute of sensing Rachelle as a separate presence there, there was no distinction between her power and mine. We have been melded collectively in a single power type.

It wasn’t like being linked to some type of supply power per se. It was extra private than that. I had the popularity that my power and Rachelle’s power have been the identical power and that we have been at all times sharing it. We have been actually the identical being at an brisk stage.

What’s additionally attention-grabbing is that Rachelle was centered on sending me love power whereas sitting with me. Afterwards that made me marvel what might need been totally different if she had held totally different intentions – that’s one thing I wish to discover extra within the months forward.

I stored my eyes closed more often than not and likewise talked with Rachelle about what I used to be experiencing. Even throughout the bodily disorienting onset interval, I didn’t really feel anxious or fearful. I checked my pulse on my Apple Watch quite a few occasions alongside the best way since I used to be interested by that. It usually hovered round 75 BPM whereas sitting on the sofa. The best I noticed the entire evening was 81. The bottom was 49 at one level whereas I used to be feeling very nauseous in that first hour. So my coronary heart positively wasn’t racing. Emotionally I used to be calm, however that 49 studying was very low for me, and it was just for a short time whereas I used to be feeling sick.

Rachelle continued to sit down with me for round two hours. I observed that every time I used to be in bodily contact along with her, I instantly went into that stunning house of energetic oneness along with her, not actively sensing our our bodies however simply feeling like a singular power cloud, her power and mine being the identical. The truth is, there was no sense of this power having any components or elements, like our our bodies have limbs. It was a sense of wholeness with none inner divisions.

Inside that wholeness, nevertheless, I may learn sure issues about this power. I may ask questions on myself or Rachelle and get an instantaneous sense of figuring out. The power had a really shamanic vibe about it, completely centered and current, prefer it was patiently holding house for our human selves and our bodies. I obtained the sense that Rachelle was some type of shaman herself but pretending to not be so she may mix in with the people. That made me marvel if that’s what we’re all doing right here on some stage, like there’s part of us that’s energetically pure and entire, and we faux to disconnect from it so we are able to have human adventures for some time, very like enjoying The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom for lengthy sufficient to really feel immersed in its world.

I believe this expertise additionally confirmed the extremely particular relationship that I’ve loved with Rachelle since 2010, which has usually felt prefer it had a timeless high quality to it. We vibe so effectively with one another and appear ridiculously appropriate. The expertise of feeling like our energies have been the identical power was like a extra intense model of what I usually expertise whereas hugging or cuddling along with her. I really feel extra conscious of how holding her adjustments the notion of my power, making it really feel very peaceable, loving, and comfortable. It seems like a really pure dwelling base to expertise with one other particular person, energetically talking. It’s not the feeling that we’re two components of the identical entire; it’s the absence of any partitioning. After we cuddle it seems like we create a cuddle-field through which our human our bodies largely dissolve into power, and it’s all the identical power.

Throughout these two hours on the sofa collectively, every time I broke contact with Rachelle and we stopped touching for some time, that’s after I felt extra grounded and current in my physique and the bodily setting, like now I’m again within the resort room.

Throughout that point I additionally skilled rolling waves of depth, which grew milder over time. Typically there have been gentle waves of nausea too however not almost as robust as throughout that first hour. Different occasions I felt of a special frequency, the place I observed the closed-eye visuals turning into extra intense or altering their patterns. Typically I felt surges of constructive power, just like the strain one experiences earlier than laughing. The truth is, I did snigger a number of occasions throughout the evening as option to launch a few of power, which felt good.

Anyway… after these beautiful two hours on the sofa collectively, Rachelle lastly went to mattress, and I used to be in a great place to proceed alone. I turned off the lights, placed on my headphones, and lied down on the sofa to do extra inside journeying for a pair extra hours. That was a extra psychological expertise for the remainder of the evening, whereby I requested and obtained attention-grabbing solutions to many various questions – so many who I felt like I’d run out of questions by the tip. Or I felt like I simply didn’t have any significant ones left to ask on this explicit evening.

I additionally experimented with totally different sorts of music throughout this time. Gradual-paced music felt a bit boring, and I discovered that my favourite for these closing hours was trance music. I beloved high-energy tracks that amped me up emotionally. I additionally listened to a few of my favourite songs simply to see what that may be like, however that facet didn’t appear uncommon, maybe as a result of the songs have been too acquainted. I nonetheless favored it although.

I lastly went to mattress at 2 AM, not even feeling that drained, so general the expertise was about 5 hours. I may nonetheless really feel a little bit of background communication happening as I drifted off to sleep, however at this level I didn’t discover it essential to consciously have interaction with it as a result of I felt full after which some.

I awoke the subsequent day feeling very well-rested and fully regular. I like that these journeys didn’t depart me feeling depleted. I couldn’t discern any destructive after-effects in any way.

Integration

Once I returned to Vegas, I went to an integration circle the next Tuesday and shared about my latest experiences there. The suggestions and questions have been useful since they invited me to do some additional reflection. I additionally continued to debate the experiences with Rachelle and did some journaling as effectively. I discover that the extra I replicate upon and speak about these experiences, the extra my understanding of them shifts a bit.

General this was an excellent introduction to magic mushrooms, each very constructive experiences regardless of the disorienting and speedy onset with the mushroom tea – that actually packed a punch relative to consuming the shroom straight. I obtained what I wished, which was to lean into constructing a constructive, growth-oriented relationship with mushroom house. At any time when I get into one thing new, I prefer to set acutely aware intentions for the type of relationship I wish to develop and discover.

I like that psychedelic journeying can yield attention-grabbing insights about myself, life, and actuality. Getting to attach with Rachelle in a deeper approach was such a ravishing reward as effectively.

After a mushroom journey, the mind stays extra neuro-flexible than regular for roughly two extra weeks. That’s a good time for making adjustments as a result of the mind is much less proof against receiving contemporary enter and extra receptive to studying. I skilled a sense of larger openness and adaptability throughout that point interval. I felt extra prepared to say sure to divergent invites and to entertain new concepts that I might need in any other case declined. It felt like my inside suppression circuitry had loosened up a bit, so it was simpler to stretch myself extra.

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